I want to get a squeaky dog toy, take out the squeaker, replace the lining of my bra with it, and then make unflinching eye contact when a partner feels me up and hears squeaking once they grab my boob. Ideally for the first time.
I want to scream out start up slogans in bed. Synergize with me, baby.
I want to get a dildo and glue it in the bottom of a popcorn bucket on a movie date with a man. I want to offer him popcorn and hold the bucket so it’s not even touching any place that penises can be found and wink unattractively when he touches it.
I want to blow in someone’s mouth while making out so hard their cheeks puff out.
I’ve noticed every variation of “yes” is hot in bed. Except “yup”. I want to be like “oh yup. God yup.” just to see what my partner does.
Unfortunately (for him) someone in mathmatics has made the mistake of dating me and now I’m learning advanced math and most of how I’m using it is making awful math-based innuendo at him.
that squeaky bra thing is genius
the car i fuck your wife in
everyone thinks that the superwholock fandom rules tumblr but i think we all know where it’s really at
checking out your blog like
I wanna see pictures of your lowest moment from 2013 go
I was in a Toy Story play.
And I loved it.
You’re an inspiration to us all
Steampunk heels equipped with gears, tubes and LED lights / The Trendaholic
Something I picture Bunny or Rabbit wearing. Theyre so pretty!
nothings worse than passing up an opportunity you know you would’ve enjoyed because of the fear of being judged
You will be dancing next to a man dressed as a large egg.
michael cera saves a young cactus from dehyration in the dry desert
battle sprites be like